Mazoku christmas
by Xee Metallium
Summary: 0.o;; Who brings Mazoku christmas presents? What does he eat? Will Zelas get her all time wanted pressie? A short Dynast based Christmas fic!


Disclaimer: I don't own slayers, they belong to a whole BUNCH of people, uhh... I don't own christmas either, that belongs to god, jesus, well, one of those dudes.... ?I dunno.... will check with the department of copyright later....  
  
  
Twas the night before christmas, and this isn't a cheesy old tale, tiz the tale of Mazoku Christmas, when Satan Claus bought many a destructive toy to the young monsters as they slept.   
  
This cold winters night, out in the snow Satan's lil helpers worked hard to get the gifts ready for the Mazoku. Only bad boys and girls got gifts, those who were good received a Winnie the Pooh Talking teddy.  
  
Everything else about Mazoku Christmas is sworn to secrecy, but what can be told, I shall tell.   
  
On a snowy winters night, many years ago, Dynast Grausherra, A Mazoku Dark Lord took up a second job. In that time, Dynast, who lived in the icy north realised that carrying a sack full of destructive gifts for naughty boys and naughty girls was indeed a very hard job.   
  
"..." Was what he had to say about the bright red and white uniform.   
  
"..." Was what he had to say about trekking the world at night to deliver many many flame throwers.  
  
"..." was what he said about the sleigh.  
  
"...!!!" What what he said, discovering rooftops were not to be walked on.   
  
Dynast slipped down a chimney, less bulky that his good guy counterpart, he was able to slip down easily, but he couldn't fit through the grating at the bottom. It would seem that even a mazoku child wasn't allowed to burn their own house down.   
  
He stayed stuck there, for a matter of second, then teleported to the center of the room wiping the remains of a few hot coals from the red trousers as if it was no more than dust.   
  
First lesson in the role of 'Satan Claus' learned. Chimneys are not to be slid down.   
"..."   
  
Next, the Dark haired Mazoku equivelent of looked for his next task.   
The devouring of offerings... In this case... Minced pies. Well and truely minced, completely destroyed even.   
"..." They were okay.   
  
Next task, the placing of the gifts for the child to unwrap. Beneath a spiky tree of many prickles, he carefully placed the presents down. On the tree were various decorations, bones and the like.   
"..." Rather messily made tree.   
  
Lesson two of the job was that at night the doors were locked. So Dynast teleported to the roof where he'd left his sleigh, and ended up sliding to the ground.  
  
"...!!!" Rooftops are not for walking on!   
  
Ahead of Santa's trip around the world, not to mention his trip off many rooftops, he'd taken one of his little helpers to find out what everyone wanted for Christmas. Dressed from top-to-toe in green, Satan's little helper was not happy. Sherra had to stand there, handing out canes of candy.   
  
As our santa subsitute sat in his grotto, waiting for children to part their Christmas wishlists to him. He was greeted with several chibi's, each pleading for various gifts.   
  
  
"I want a new coat!" Chibi Gaav said.   
  
"..." Replied Dynast-Claus.   
  
"I want a Fishie!" Chibi Deep Sea Dolphin begged.   
  
"..." Said Dynast-claus.  
  
"I want some soul orbs, some real marbles, a giga-slave in a box and a 4 piece jigsaw. Seven is too hard for me." Chibi Phibby said.   
  
"..." 'santa' replied.  
  
"What would you like young lady?" Dynast asked the chibi Digi-Riven.   
  
"..." She replied.  
  
"Sore wa himitsu desu." Said chibi Xelloss bouncing away suddenly, after 'borrowing' santa's hat.  
  
"..." What was the point of that?   
  
Then along came a beautiful tanned chibi, with hair of silver and gold. She trotted past the unhappy elven Sherra and nestled comfortably in the Mazoku St. Nick's lap.   
  
"For Christmas, I want.... some red wine, some white wine, some luxury teas, a new dress and you." The Zelas chibi hugged Dynast tightly before slipping off, greeting her priest/general/shopping trolley who was laden with bags to the extent his face could not be seen. Behind all the parcels a face was pulled. "Don't pull that face." Zelas chibi said, as Dynast commented;   
  
"..."  
  
The tanned chibi left and so the Dynast-claus took his list of specific gifts and returned to the north pole. He presented the list to the elven Sherra who bullied another 3 elves into sorting them out.   
  
"..." Said Dynast, settling down to read a few christmas letters.   
  
'Dear Mr-Claus, For Christmas I would like, a new complete haircare kit, a new pair of gloves, some fluffy pyjama's, some thermal underwear and a black materia.'   
  
"... Sorry no cross overs Xel-kun." Dynast said his longest sentance of the year. Finishing his tea he hefted his sack over one shoulder and trudged through the snow to the sleigh.   
  
"..." there was frost on the seat.   
  
After many hours hard work, during which he saw many parents fool their kids into thinking 'santa' had left them presents, Dynast had had enough. He slipped though a window into a house and rested himself in a comfortable armchair, sipping some nearby wine.   
  
"..." He said dryly.   
  
This house belonged to the now grown up (well, no longer Chibi-fied), Zelas-metallium. Special preparations had been made to tuck Xelloss away with dreams of black materia...  
  
"..." Dynast exclaimed at the awful crossover idea.   
  
And he had to sleep otherwise Satan Claus wouldn't come.   
  
Zelas snuck down the stairs silently very very early on christmas morning, hey, we'd still call it night, it was that early and read the tag on her present.   
  
"To Zelas-M from the north pole" She read, pulling the big pink bow off her prey / present / victim / toy / gift ... "I always wanted a lil Dy-kun!"  
  
"..." Said Dynast. 


End file.
